30 Jul August: Keep the Faith
The soul is a relentless companion. It never rests in seeking its freedom and voice. It will do what it has to do to release you physical body, your mind and your emotions form the debris of untruths and self-deceptions that keep you chained and unable to see your purpose.
As I was lying in bed the other night, I thought to myself, “what if, what spirit has planned is more beautiful than my mind ever could imagine?”
I should let you know, that I have been pretty put out by life these days. I’ve been in despair over my mom’s illness, climate change and the pandemic, I’ve been beating myself up over my own perceived personal failures not being able to see the successes as clearly. I have been looking back on my life and choices questioning everything that’s led me here— a place of extreme pressure and discomfort that takes my breath away and not in the good sense. In other words, I’m feeling the debris and self-deceptions that are keeping me chained and unable to see my purpose. Maybe you’ve been here too, maybe you’ve been in this place for a while.
When the thought arose, “what if, what spirit has planned for is more beautiful than my mind ever could imagine?” It felt like an invitation to leave something behind, to let go of the hurt of the past and open to something beyond what my mind could understand. It reminded me of all of the miraculous ways that my life has opened up over the years and to have faith in that benevolent force again.
Faith is a funny thing, I know that I’m not the only one that questions the grand order of things. Faith is something that is beyond our idea of “good” or “bad.” It asks us to throw away all logic and rest in the idea that somewhere, somehow there is a bigger purpose to everything that we know and experience.
In Buddhism, students are taught to take refuge in the dharma, in Yoga we hear “practice and all is coming,” in Christianity, we await the Word of God and try to emulate the faith practiced by Christ. This just tells me that humans have long been trying to answer the question of “how do we find the strength to keep going?”
Faith may be the most difficult thing we have ever had to practice, but is something that is nearly unbearable to live without.
Faith demands that we let go. Let go of our ideas about how things should be, our need to know, to be right, to be in control. It asks that we take the time to grieve what we cannot take with us, so that we might make room for our cups to be refilled. It asks us to trust that even after the driest season, rain will come again.
August is gently bringing the cup of our practice to our lips and saying, drink.
If you are reading this, life is not finished with you yet, your story is still being woven into the mystery of creation and that means that you, dear reader have work to do.
How do we keep going? What life can we breathe into this moment that wasn’t there before? Where do we find refuge and how do we find the courage to step forward in our lives over and over again?
Maybe it’s the quiet voice in the night that whispers, “what if, what spirit has planned is more beautiful than my mind ever could imagine?”
May your journey continue to unfold in the most miraculous of ways.