April: Courage in Relationship - jacquiwillcocks.com
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April: Courage in Relationship

Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing.

-Arundhati Roy

Friction is necessary in any growth cycle. As we have just passed through the doorway into spring in the northern hemisphere, you can feel nature switching in to creation mode. The birds are at work calling for a partner and preparing nests, the first tender buds are eagerly swelling on the tips of tree branches. The ground is waking up and so are we.

We may not exhibit as overtly obvious displays of rebirth as the nature around us, but do not be  lulled into thinking that human beings are exempt from this turn in the wheel. We may feel more energetic with the longer days, quicker to anger and as the season of spring is associated with the element of air in the Ayurvedic traditions, slightly un grounded.

This months overarching theme is the Courage in relationship. Coasting off of last months Dreaming the collective, we are continuing to feel deeply connected to the health of the community at large. The individual work that we do and will continue to do is being played out more and more in relationship. We are being challenged to bring our whole selves—the weaknesses and gifts— into our families, friend circles and greater communities in a more skillful way than ever before. To do so we must practice two very important things, vulnerability and boundaries.

Personally, nothing makes me feel more vulnerable then setting boundaries. I am much more comfortable over extending myself to others, even when consequently I become exhausted and resentful. Its my auto response, and only when I decide that the discomfort of challenging my behaviour is preferable to the consequences of my comfort zone do I summon the courage required to grow and change.

It is easy for us to go on auto pilot through life, flowing from one stimulus to the next, reacting in a way that feels most comfortable and the least challenging, and I actually don’t think that’s always a bad thing. We are cyclical creatures.

But as we know, life can’t be comfortable all the time without repercussions. Thankfully life sends us unique challenges to shake us out of our stupor, and wake us up.

And we are sure being challenged to continue to wake up.

The more disconnection we have from natural cycles both inner and outer, causes much distress and suffering because at a primal level, we know we are not meant to feel so isolated and estranged from each other, the earth and her elements, the animals, and the food we eat.

We know we are wired to work together, to celebrate and rejoice each other, to hold each other in our shared grief, and yet, it seems that we are lifetimes away from experiencing our communities in such a healthy, reciprocal and loving way.

But just because it feels like a pipe dream, does not mean that it’s not possible or real. What if the blueprints already exist, they just need to be remembered? What if what is needed is the ability to be Courageous and Creative in a socially responsible way? Can you imagine a world based on the ethics of love and reciprocity? Where we are responsible for ourselves and each other, where we are cared for, and extend our care for others?

This is where our personal work of vulnerability and boundaries come into play. We need BOTH things to exist together in a life affirming way. Being truthful and open about who we are and what we are feel is imperative for building connection in relationship. Holding boundaries is the maturity to say “this is what I need to feel healthy and safe.” Sometimes they interchange and are disguised in each other. We are more discerning now than we have ever been, we are ready for this new challenge!

We need both to disrupt the old structures that operate on fear and distrust, of thinking the worst about ourselves and each other.

As you can imagine, this is not a comfortable process. You may even be squirming a bit in your seat as you read this. I am squirming a bit too!

What I have learned thus far is that by challenging my own fears, (particularly around vulnerability and boundaries,) is that although it’s damn scary and gets the adrenaline pumping,  the reward is immense.

It brings personal power and self respect, strengthens feelings of self worth and allows ourselves to shine and be seen.

The reality is that the safest place you can be is in the place of growth. Thats where we connect with LIFE and the support of the universe, and the force that moves all though life and death cycles is absolutely rooting for us.

Ironically this also happens to be the place that we have been trained to avoid at all costs.

If you feel afraid, and have no idea how to take the next step forward, know that you are not alone. This is part of being human and truly, you are supported by more than you will ever really comprehend.

To tap into this wellspring of support we must open to vulnerability and the Courage to take action, have uncomfortable conversations, to admit where we feel weakness and frailty, to honour life and energy by setting healthy and necessary boundaries, to take good care of ourselves by understanding that we are responsible to the life we inhabit.

It is not up to the world to change for us to take our place in the wide circle we are creating together. It is entirely our choice to change the world we inhabit.

With love and reverence,


  • Shelley E Pelech
    Posted at 13:47h, 07 April Reply

    I`m feeling the cat`s heart throbbing under my hand as she sits on my lap while I type. Throbbing, purring – courage and synchrony – so essential, particularly in our accelerated times. The boundary of work too – always – in the care and continuance of us and others because we must – just as the trees put out their flowers because they must.

    I wish I could give you words commensurate with your ideas. You always make me think, and think again. Thank you!

    • jacqui willcocks
      Posted at 17:31h, 08 April Reply

      Your poetic and thoughtful replies bring me much joy. Thank you Shelley!

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